First, I’m not asking people to challenge me. I don’t particularly want to pour ice water on my head. This isn’t about that. It’s about my own little insecurity that I’m not a “part” of something bigger. I know it’s crazy, but my feelings are hurt that it seems like everybody in the world has been challenged to do the ALS ice bucket challenge and I haven’t. I’m not top three. I realize that the people who would probably challenge me haven’t been challenged themselves, but that doesn’t help. In fact, it might make it worse. Like suddenly not only am I not part of the in-crowd, but my crowd isn’t part of the in-crowd.
I have a friend who is close friends with a celebrity, and she wouldn’t introduce me because she didn’t think I’d be able to keep it together. Ugh – stab. I hate Twitter because I tweet people and get nothing back. Ugh – stab. I wanted to be promoted to a senior trainer position and I wasn’t selected. Ugh – stab. I thought for sure I’d be selected to join one of the pseudo-sororities we had in college and I wasn’t even though I stayed up all night waiting for the knock on my door. Ugh – stab.
The thing is, my group – the people I choose to surround myself with are so much cooler than anybody else I can think of. They are smart, funny, caring, kind, generous, loving, humble, catty (when I need them to be), thoughtful…they challenge and inspire me every day. I’m so happy to be a part of this group – and I know that any of them would choose me in a heartbeat to be a part of anything. It just can’t help but hurt that somehow – all those friends whom I adore, didn’t pick me.